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Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
10:09 am - fun and amusing.
so my brother will be going to Big Bear with his wife and leaving the two kiddos behind. A four year old boy and a 1 1/2 year old girl...and I want to keep them entertained and would love to take them out. Where? I have no idea. I remember taking my son on a bus trip to the mall was amusing when he was like 2. Nowadays I'm capable of getting around because I have a car now. I still miss taking the subway or bus, but thats another time another day.
What can I do with a 4 year old and a 1 1/2 yr. old? =\

maybe a cup of hot cocoa will help me figure it out ....or not...but it would be nice to have one in this cold office.

any ideas?

current mood: anxious

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Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
9:37 am - beloved homeless man?
I got an email from a friend who sent me the news about the homeless man that was shot to death in Commerce. I couldn't help but realize the similarities about this man because it sounds like the same man that helped find my Shorty. The only problem would be that this homeless man in the news lived in a truck in an alley and he was in his 30s or 40s...which the man that helped me actually has a name Manuel Chavez and probably in his 50s and he lived next to ARCO behind bushes and such. ugh so I'm thinking I should just call to see if its him and such so heaven forbid it is him that he wont be called John Doe...=( I just hope its not.

Story here:

current mood: worried

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Friday, April 17th, 2009
12:12 pm - you know you want to ...
Want to see OctoMom give birth? lol

current mood: gargh!

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Thursday, April 16th, 2009
4:36 pm - having my own rhythmic ceremonial ritual...
I'm really happy right now. My supervisor gave me new speakers a couple of days ago and I'm using them! I know its not that exciting to y'all, but this is the story...I've worked here for almost 3 years now and I have not had any speakers for the computer (they are really outdated as far as the goods go)
so the only thing I've been using is this boring old rhythmic outlet:

geez it sucked! so anyways its goodbye to you, ya old fart! Time for my NIN, Funker, Skinny Puppy, VIRGIN PRUNES...psh even Thrill Kill Kult! =p
I know, I made this post just to announce my speakers...=p what? its awesome stuff. music soothes the soul. =D

current mood: ecstatic

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Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
12:14 pm - oh how time flies....
LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?

I started my LJ around December  2001....and is as follows:
First Impressions Don't Matter

Being my first journal entry. I am pretty much excited to start up typing my journal so any one could view rather than write to myself in a mead pad, plus I may need some guidance or advice..communication. I always wanted to know if anyone was out there who really knew the answers to questions that I have. I am not here to impress people, I am here to enjoy writing and sharing it. I think this is something I will like very much.

second post later that evening...

Now What
I need a drink!

what a retard...yeah such class.

current mood: gee whiz

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Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
11:02 am

they are called UGg boots because they are UGly ...

the most annoying thing to date..

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Monday, March 30th, 2009
10:25 am - growing up
My mother, my sister, and myself were stunned to find out that my father took Shorty a bath in our may not be weird to you, but it was totally a shocker for all of us. not in a million years would I think he would ever wash uh dog because of how stubborn or just the way we are so used to him being...but apparently something is different here. It was nice seeing him laying on the bench sleeping, loved and white as snow. Its been exciting having him back.

Dannyboi is 12 and I think he is going through changes...he gave me major attitude yesterday and it wasnt the first time. I just have to make note of this and any change that takes place. I'm totally not ready for his voice to crack. =( 
I'm not ready for a lot of things but it will happen...I want to protect him as much as I can, but I can't do that to him. He has to live it and learn from it.  ugh I can't believe it will be April soon.

current mood: crampy

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Friday, March 27th, 2009
10:44 am - The little boy with a bad temper

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

just something that moved me this morning...still need to practice patience...road rage with me is pure cuss words but it bothers me all the way to my destination and I just need to cut it out...its extremely draining. i literally feel exhausted just thinking how bad it gets.

current mood: exhausted

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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
8:47 am - Guess who's back??

Shorty's back home....Collapse )

current mood: extremely happy..beyond words

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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
12:56 pm
been active in trying to find shorty. the turn of it all is my father's sadness, regret, and hope to get him back after I have educated him on how bad abadoning an animal really doesnt affect just a couple people but many, a community, a group, a city, state, etc. its a situation where once its done he cant step out of it, it will be a stamp that ruins a person internally, and now he is feeling it,  unless he changes into a vegetarian. Imagine? I can only wish. I cant forgive him, but I can educate him. I can explain the main reasons as to why I made my choice to become veg. He has made a rather swift effort searching for him, looking into shelters on his off time since Friday evening....he is determined. no this wont excuse his error..but its a good start in changing a stubborn mind.

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Friday, March 20th, 2009
3:57 pm

So far I've contacted all animal shelters and posted online, where I could that affiliate with shelters and the animal control dept as well, in the la county that is..the problem is I need to visit them in person because they have so many white dogs coming in and out on a daily basis. They told me its a good idea to come in and then I can leave my notices on their bulletin boards and such. so I plan on doing that tomorrow with my sister and handing out fliers while we go on our way through the area. I feel so bad that I dont have more than that one picture. argh
btw Donna..the guy I responded to the ad had got my hopes up..he said the dog looked like a weenie dog but that its a girl..and shes 4 months old according to his vet..but if anything he'll keep her if the owner does claim her. So thank goodness someone picked that little one up.
thanks for the offers for help...I'm doing all I can and if I think of anything I'll be sure to ask...

side note: some of the people at the animal shelters can be bitches..especially the lady at the baldwin park shelter...she played "hold on" call game and I didnt even get to ask my question...she just kept cutting me off when I started my question or concern with "Hi I'm calling to..." Click 'hold on' and then click to whatever shes doing...i dont know but that frickin annoyed the time she got back to me she said "sorry I cant help you'd need to visit the facility".
but its a govt. place so maybe they were crazy busy. oh well...moving on..

current mood: little by little

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Thursday, March 19th, 2009
7:55 pm - on talking to him...
So I came home and basically wanted to have nothing to do with his royal assness...but he came to me to talk with me.
This is how it was laid out. The first words that came out from him was " I need you to know that Shorty wasn't our dog" .....wha?? Basically, his friend wanted a favor from him/us to watch his dog for a couple of months and to hold his long ass car on our driveway until he gets a place of his own and he would pay "storage fee"  for both items to be held here...after 9 months of holding his car...he made it seem like the dog was ours though...when he dropped him off he made this comment that I kept seriously (mind you I didnt know about the agreement until right now)..."here's your new dog!"  I mean of course I'm going to assume its our he explains that the dog wasnt even ours the whole time and that he had an agreement that if his friend paid for half the shots that my dad would have taken care of the other half and he could leave the dog...but he still went ahead and accepted to keep the dog anyways...while we all assumed it was ours for the keeping (i did recall him mentioning to pay for shots) He was fed up with the car being here for so long that he told his friend he needs to take the car....and he told him also take your dog as well(still without shots). His friend ended up taking the car, but he left Shorty. So he decided to be cold. But it takes a cold person to know a cold person right?  I feel really stupid all around. First because the dog wasn't even ours, yet we welcomed him as if he was ours and I still feel its soo fuckin wrong..because I still want him...I still feel like he was ours and to me he was. He still had no right to do that...and I hate him for it. I never heard him apologize before but he did...problem is pops, that its unforgiveable still...My brother was telling me that he isnt like that, just abandons animals that are ours and that we love, bullshit, ....yet its even worse because its not even his was his friend's. some friend.
I feel so guilty and wish that I took it upon myself to get his license and shots and such and not wait.  its all screwed up. never wait to take care of animals you want to take in...thats a number one rule..and I should have known this. i'm sorry.

and thanks for the responses/comments ...I appreciated them all and I am still looking for him...but I dont know if I should continue to do so?  I want him back, but I cant keep him here if I were to find him. I'm just not happy...totally lost. If I dont do anything I'll feel like I gave up on him or that I'm a horrible person.

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10:21 am - havent felt so much despair since my Spotty died and our Axl missing...

Bandit, but we called him shorty ..he's the white doggy...leia is the black...

I dont know what the fuck to do. I'm devastated and its killing me hurts really bad.

the Coward that is my Father decided to be an asshole and let my dog go. yes, let him go yesterday early morning. ..supposedly around 4am he took him I assume on his way to work only to leave him somewhere. He told this to my mother who most likely didnt want to be against him because all hell will break loose between them two. BUT it was me and my son's dog. over two weeks ago he made a disgusting comment about it saying "someday I'm gonna take him and leave him somewhere" and I TOLD him ...don't you dare do that! and he asked "why not? I'm not going to pay for him when they come around looking for dog's with licenses" I made it totally clear that that is my responsibility and I will take care of it let alone get him fixed and dont do it because I will hate him for it, and its against the law and my beliefs, against everything I stand for. He fuckin betrayed me. And though I live with this only goal is to get out of that house...that man is dead to me. I found this shit out after I got home from class already stressed and dealing with crap in regards to my son. I left a note for him this morning demanding to know where he is and what area. of course he didnt write back and when my mother asked him he refused to tell her anything. I was hoping when I woke up this morning it would have been a terrible nightmare....that I could just get up and walk to see both dogs together sleeping...warm...snuggling each other..but Leia is all alone and sad. I hate him. this is unforgivable. Shorty was trained, he was a good dog, he did nothing to no one, he was happy and he made us happy.. can any human do such a thing?
I'm hoping that either someone picked him up and will take great care of him..or that I will be able to catch up to him and get him back...I want him back!!


current mood: crushed

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Wednesday, March 18th, 2009
2:03 pm - randomizing on a candy chain...
a newly realized pet peeve...eating cherry tomatoes is not that much fun when you bite into it half way. *squirt*

My lunch today is a side salad and apple juice which costs about 2.30....and I happened to have a banana sitting next to my desk that is finally ripe...after leaving it there for over a week. good times.

I bought lots of organic items to create my awesome pumpkin cupcakes of doom.

I got NIN/JA tix, in Chula Vista show because its on a Saturday 5/16 and gives me an excuse to visit San Diego on a weekend...its my bday present from the more goodtimes.

the kid got four F's on his recent report card, slowly catching up in school after a week of absences due to some retarded flu/cold...but *sigh* we just gotta keep on truckin'.

current mood: eating

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Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
9:41 am - you wearing your green today?

don't have much to update..things are up in the air..go with the flow type of deal. yup yup..goodtimes.

current mood: pinchy pinchy

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Friday, March 13th, 2009
3:00 pm - the hair dye came in and I am ready!!
I guess my 365 project is a failure..because I all of a sudden got discouraged, it really didnt matter anyway..just wanted to see if I can actually do it...and I was getting there..figured I'll turn it into a 52/weekly project instead..atleast I can commit to that ? well anyways, as busy as I already am. I am tempted to begin other projects...stuff that used to get my mind out of the gutter and onto canvas. -edit -Neurofeedback sessions have been the kind. Dannyboi and I go three times a week for 1 1/2 hours and everytime we walk out of there tingly and giddy...its kind of scary. We have tingly sensations on our foreheads which leads us to being goOfy happy.  When I start to fight negative thoughts, I actually fight them and my worries are easy to manage. That to me, is a miracle. I would dwell in my own or others issues and now I dont care about it so much. I still have my moments, but overall I see some improvement. I can't help the road rage though. cuss a little here and cuss a little there..what can I say, some stupid inconsiderate drivers out there. I read something that made me laugh...."Tupac to drop another album, remains dead while doing so"  ummm....what in the world?!

for some reason I like pics of me having no nose.

current mood: Black

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Thursday, March 5th, 2009
12:19 pm - Comet-mints
NIN on tour again?!
Trent sure works hard...anyways dates are as follows:
Sat-May-16 Chula Vista, CA [Cricket Wireless Amphitheater]
Mon-May-18 Las Vegas, NV [The Pearl]
Wed-May-20 Irvine, CA [Verizon Wireless Amphitheater – Irvine Meadows]
Fri-May-22 Mountain View, CA [Shoreline Amphitheatre]

question is will I go again? I LOVED the last show and I keep expecting more from my fave artists and groups...wonder if tickets will be under 50 like last time or will be over....=(  
hmm excuse to go to vegas again...riight

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Sunday, March 1st, 2009
2:52 pm - it was his 30th favorite ghoul

we went to Vegas this was pretty sweet. He celebrated his 30th..which i wish we went to Florida instead...but since so much needs to be done ...I promised to go next year. We walked, and walked, and walked all over the place...saw the Blue Man Group....which he loved....and I found quite amusing and fun but wished it lasted longer because it was so colorful and groundbreaking....enjoyed the music as well. riight. I really love this guy. I just wish his friends were more involved....and thinking about it I want to go to Club Hell again, it was fun. I would like to go to Wumpskate, but I got a class that night =( 
I love the GREEN.

again ...Happy Birthday Jason, I love you.

current mood: flathead

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Thursday, February 26th, 2009
2:48 pm - fall back on...

I'm looking forward to Vegas this weekend....

current mood: lonely

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Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
2:19 pm - off in the head

what do you do when a light bulb goes out?
I dont call a hundred blondes, nor one psychiatrist, or even the wide range of cultures, beliefs, occupations and groups that are ridiculed through that endless joke.  at this point in time, the neurofeedback centers for success are really helping me out at no charge and I'm starting to realize things, my mind is being cleared of this clutter and that light bulb is being replaced with a brighter one. I'm quite satisfied and I see positive progress in my son ...he isn't fighting with me anymore on getting things done when I ask and getting off xbox seems a little easier now. I  wish others could feel this calm state I'm in. the program is surreal and sometimes I smile to where I dont even notice or its not comes to me naturally.

current mood: pleased

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Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
2:12 pm - when i listen to you...

thats all.

current mood: tingly

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Saturday, February 21st, 2009
2:58 pm - alright

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Friday, February 20th, 2009
8:56 am - inspired by another mother....

happy (12th) birthday Dannyboi...from the floppy vaultCollapse )

current mood: curious

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Thursday, February 19th, 2009
2:56 pm - better days must be ahead...

okay so my hope hasn't completely disappeared nor have I given up on the idea
that things will eventually turn out for the better....just as long as us humans play by the rules, perhaps?
I guess I realize this when something I want to get done, just comes closer to getting done. For instance, cleaning
out my car or setting up a doc's appt to figure out where I stand. Well the test results came in for the
test I had to take a couple of days ago...and I got 100%! So I guess taking my damn time and being the last
one to leave is not a bad thing. whew! I really put myself down, its nauseating. But regardless, I'm glad I got that over with. I'm only that much more excited to take the transfer classes in Literature. I set Dboy up for Neurofeedback this Saturday. I have no idea what to do for his birthday which is tomorrow. =(   What do you do for a 12 year old?

current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
2:55 pm - shake shake shake...shake your ass!

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Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
12:02 pm - i need some white chocolate

I have a Reading Placement test at the college today..I guess its a new thing. Something about
testing DRP. I wish I can ditch it to see how D is doing in school. I've got mixed feelings about
so many things that came up recently. First the teachers say he is doing better and then they
take it back and then I tell his therapist hes doing well because the teachers dont get back to me
when I email them. So I figured when I have time off next week for the dude's birthday I will surely
visit the classes and individually speak with each teacher. I need to know what is going on.
I swallowed my pride, stubborn attitude, and doubt recently and felt that I had to be mature
about Jason's ex wanting to be only his "friend".
A few months back I panicked and made an entry about how this girl all of sudden wants
to be in his life again...but then a week or so ago she made certain she doesnt want to be anymore than friends.
I even asked my mom what she thought and of course being defensive she says "why dont you meet her in person, how bout it?"  But my mom agrees that if she doesnt pose a threat it should work out fine. One thing is
I get my advice from my mom when it comes to things like this...because she is the most humble and most reasoning human being I have ever come to know. I love her so much and shes taught me that jealousy is truly rotten to the bones. Sometimes I feel like my dad doesnt give her that credit because she takes great care of him and always gives him even financial advice, which he never takes. Imagine that, a housewife. But she sees everything. It also helps when you need to clean a negative mind by reading books that enlighten the reality of a situation. In other news, my baby will be 12 yrs. old this Friday. *tears*

bring these moments back to me, oh his little hand.

current mood: sad

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Monday, February 16th, 2009
11:58 am

i have the case of the mixed religion...

current mood: smiling to myself

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Sunday, February 15th, 2009
11:52 am

I'm obsessed! its soo fun and even Versus is cool because you are an infected fatty or a claw scary
dude or even a guy who likes to use his tongue to strangle the group trying to survive..its great.
But I really do need to get back to working out again...oh geez,  I have to pay for my books
soon. School starts next week.

current mood: hungry

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Saturday, February 14th, 2009
11:49 am - my was a nice V day...all grown up..

current mood: loved

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Friday, February 13th, 2009
11:46 am - paint my eyes black as night...

sister being silly

current mood: cynical

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Thursday, February 12th, 2009
11:46 am

current mood: cranky

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Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
11:45 am

current mood: angry

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Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
9:56 am - take on me...

i like this better... i can be someone's art. my own.

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Monday, February 9th, 2009
9:54 am

my eyes are so nasty, i hate the undereye baggage....but I need to take better
care of myself

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Sunday, February 8th, 2009
9:43 am

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Saturday, February 7th, 2009
9:41 am

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Friday, February 6th, 2009
9:39 am

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Thursday, February 5th, 2009
10:26 am - thirsty thursday

so sad. soo so sad.
Erick Lee of The Cramps passed away,  aka Lux, such sad news, I will spend the next couple of weeks listening to their music as my tribute. I am soo grateful to have had the opportunity to see them live plenty of great times. Godspeed Mr. Cramps and best wishes to Poison Ivy, your awesome wife...

current mood: cold

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Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
11:48 am - come on, get happy!

no seriously, smile and get your laugh on.

current mood: satisfied

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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009
12:42 pm - up in the air

again the financial issues come and mortgage and dad fighting about it...sister cant keep a job and finding ways to "take" care of having to swallow their negativity and the kid feeling icky in the throat area and coughing. it wont be long until everything falls into place. comfortably. cushy. goodness. my nail polish is gunmetal. that makes me happy.  i debate on whether i should help my sister with her debt and make her my slave while doing so.  but her problems aren't mine to unravel. i feel like skating.

current mood: nostalgic

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Monday, February 2nd, 2009
11:32 am - nana nananana
I didnt cut my hair, just tucked away the long parts. I'm thinking I like it this way...

memory has been sold.

current mood: thankful

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Sunday, February 1st, 2009
4:43 pm - last weekend...i want to go dancing again!

from last weekend...the picture dude didnt care much for groups..he seemed to care more for "couple" this was in one take...j i want to go out again but this time where its much more promising with the indie or emo shit ...i'm not feeling that crap...i am proud to say that I'm wearing my REPO The Genetic Opear long sleeve tee...with the character Pavi Largo (nivek Ogre). I cant wait to get the dvd now.

current mood: giggly

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Saturday, January 31st, 2009
11:17 pm - Thai Table ....callin on me

Jason and I,  ate at our favorite place Thai Table... its delish. ever in the Whittier/Whittwood area please visit...
I had the spicy fried rice with Tofu...its greatness makes me glow. 
just sharing some healthy food visuals...unlike some people who seem to enjoy putting down our diet or choice of grub..let alone call their friends lame names because of what they are or choose to be...or even choose to need not applyCollapse )

current mood: happy

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Friday, January 30th, 2009
5:16 pm - another

fear the Spiderman!

current mood: grateful

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Thursday, January 29th, 2009
3:14 pm

current mood: satisfied

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Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
2:04 pm - flours

current mood: busy

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Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
12:34 pm - the upside of tuesday...

i must still be asleep...i was searching for help topics and looked around to see if i can answer my own question, when i came up to a topic said "about cookies"....clicking while in my head "i wonder what this is about" and thinking of literal cookies..chocolate chip cookies....i learned it was about computer cookies ..lame

the kid is alright

current mood: hopeful

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Monday, January 26th, 2009
10:44 am - total silly-ness

so yes we got disneyland passes, Jbird and I, I hope to visit this weekend or next
because i surely need my happy fix. I hate Mondays, only because its the beginning of
a work week and I dread having to drive nowadays. Construction everywhere. slows down
traffic. annoying pedestrians. beginning of the grading period for the kid, starts fresh.

current mood: sleepy

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Sunday, January 25th, 2009
3:55 pm - Serious Sunday

woke up with hangover, check.
nursed said hangover within 10 minutes with soda (RC), check.
visitors visited a few hours, check.
played ABC game w/nephew, check.
got beat by a 4 year old w/own rulez, check.
took this insane picture with the milky effect on my camera, check.
enjoyed seeing my parents hang out watching tv together, big CHECK. ;)
they are still together after almost 40 years. beautiful.

current mood: amused

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Saturday, January 24th, 2009
11:47 pm - Suicide Saturday

so for our monthly going out ritual we decided to venture to Club Suicide to celebrate our friend's birthday.
I actually had a good time despite being upset because I felt like I was babysitting my sister. It was
nice seeing old faces, especially schmancy nancy and Mr Jason jason and the music was cool. massive hangover (hardly drink at all) so that was a new feeling I didnt like. I quickly got rid of it by drinking RC cola.
I like the venue quite a bit. parking is so easy when you're on time. its a shame that I never seen that before.
I hope to out live that tardy reputation....

current mood: loved

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